I was about three when this picture was taken. I’m 51 now. Sometimes I think about the fact that I am most likely nearer my death than my birth and I want to lie on the ground and sob. Not because of getting older, my looks and my abilities changing or the dwindling likelihood that I will visit all the places I would love to see. But because I find being alive inside a human body such a wonderful experience and I would like to go on and on having that experience.
This wasn’t always the case. For decades I focussed on the pain, the difficulty and the struggle. If we think about life, about the circumstances around us and the things we want to achieve, haven’t achieved yet, think we ought to achieve, then it is certainly a struggle. But thinking is always about the past and the future.
When we are truly present, time doesn’t exist. The present is undescribable. If I talk about this moment, and this one, and this one, I am describing something that just happened, if only a fraction of a second ago. The present can only be experienced, never described. The present moment is where all life happens, where that delicious feeling of being alive, connected and infinite, always takes place.
So when I am sad that I am at this point in my life, that every day I am closer to its end, the reason for my sadness is that I am thinking, and that I am in the thrall of that human concept called time. We have invented time so that we can measure, analyse and plan, and we surely need it. But we don’t need to be quite so attached to it. Allowing the past or the future to have any effect on our current levels of peace and contentment automatically prevents us from feeling peaceful and contented because it takes us away from the present moment.
Will I stop experiencing those moments of sadness, now that I know this? Will I find it easier to be 52, 53 and 54 because I understand that my grief about the passage of time is unnecessary as long as I remain present? Not all the time, no. Because it is natural to think and it is natural to feel attachment to the past and future. But when I catch myself thinking that way, instead of trying to think more positive thoughts – which is always a hit or miss affair – I can simply bring myself back into the now, where all life is, and relish that delicious feeling of being alive.
If you’d like to experience the present moment more often, there is a recording on this page to guide you.
I’ve noticed this a lot in the last year. It was my birthday last week, and in the year since the last one I’ve developed a middle aged spread, plus an ever growing bald patch. My teeth are wrecked from all the years of chocolate, and my knee and back hurt for no reason.
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Howeber, I spent my birthday walking along the sea on the hottest day of the year, watching the sun go down over a flat rippling sea, and I was able to enjoy the moment for what it was.
You make a very valuable point!
Thanks Gordon. That sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate. There is something about the sea, isn’t there. Happy birthday! :-)
Although I had paid ‘lip-service’ to living in the present for many years, it wasn’t until I was diagnosed and have subsequently recovered, from cancer that I truly found myself living in the now. Being faced with my own mortality was frightening. Once I knew. I was going to make it, life changed for me in the most marvellous way. I found a joy and a happiness in just being alive, to live in such a beautiful place. I started noticing clouds and all that nature surrounds us with. Everything became a valuable experience, from the mundane to the more exhilarating stuff. Like you Harriet, I have no idea how much time I have left, if my cancer will return, but I spend little time thinking of this. Life has become precious and deserves to be lived fully present.
Much love
Juliana x
Thank you so much for your moving and personal story, Juliana. Have a wonderful day xxx
I find living in the moment helps me do everything with purpose, from everyday mundane stuff to more important business related work. It’s the only way to stop fretting about the future because of the past.
Yes! How beautifully put, thank you x
Another honest and alive blog. it’s an important area you are focussing on and we don’t always do that so thank you x
Thanks Irene I appreciate that x
Fab post. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you x