When we look at the world around us, there is plenty to be angry about. Going by my social media feeds, it seems we have two choices as to how we can cope with all the upsetting stuff going on:
1. Keep informed, engage with the issues, spread the message, voice our anger; or:
2. Sell the telly, take less notice of current events and cultivate our own peace.
There are problems with both these approaches. If we take the first and allow ourselves to be consumed by anger, indignation and even bitterness, we are likely to become resentful, cynical, exhausted and even unwell. The second choice may keep us calm and safe unless something unpleasant happens to pierce the bubble, but we could be doing ourselves – and the world – out of the opportunity to make a change, however small, to the world around us.
Engage, get angry, feel uncomfortable, risk confrontation.
Or preserve our own sense of peace, calm and love, shielding ourselves and our families from horrible goings on?
My answer is neither.
Or, more accurately, both.
If we are privileged enough to have access to media of all kinds and the leisure time to peruse it, I believe that we have an obligation to make ourselves aware of the issues affecting those less privileged than ourselves. To find out what makes us cross, what draws out our compassion. And if we develop this kind of awareness, we are certain to feel uncomfortable. Sure, there is a lot that we can’t do anything about and that will frustrate us, if we care. Some atrocities will enrage us. Sometimes we will be overcome by sadness and sometimes it will all seem too much to bear.
But here’s the thing. We can be engaged and enraged but we don’t have to be resentful. Feeling these feelings won’t hurt us, if we look after ourselves. We can work on our own inner peace, and the well-being of our nearest and dearest, while at the same time being engaged, compassionate and trying to change things in whatever way we can.
And, yes, we can always do something about something. We can take 30 seconds to send an email or sign a petition. We can educate our children about current events, rights and responsibilities. We can refuse to be swept along in the tide of popular opinion without informing ourselves and reaching our own conclusions. Sometimes we can be more active than this.
We see what’s going on. We accept it exactly as it is right now, without denial, and feel the uncomfortable feelings that arise. We do what we can. But at the same time as being engaged we know our limits, what we can and cannot do, and we take responsibility for our reactions. We learn how to avoid indulging in resentment, and how to deal with bitterness and cynicism if they arise. We become more effective, more aware, more independent.
This is not a static position; it’s a journey. Everything is changing all the time and the same goes for our relationship to it all, our reactions and responses, feelings and experiences. This means that, while we are breathing, we always have the opportunity to change course.
I try to live this way and some days I am more successful than others. But it works for me. I can’t ignore what is happening in the world around me but I can’t thrive without a context of peace, either. Here are some ideas:
* Take time to read and listen, but take time to meditate, as well.
* Be very careful about entering into debates on social media or in person; ask, ‘can my involvement in this debate achieve anything?’
* Accept the feelings; let them stay as long as they need to and let them go when they have finished with you. Avoid – or deal with – resentment and bitterness.
* Ask, ‘what can I do, and how can I be most effective?’
It doesn’t always feel good but, hey, this is life and we were never promised that we would feel good all the time. We are all muddling through together. Trying to get the recipe right. It’s an imperfect world; let’s not shut it out.
